remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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