Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm getting married
To pizza
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
