ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
