They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
