this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
