I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
