dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
