what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
