oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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