I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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