I accidentally burped into my bong.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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