Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
