unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
