I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just gift wrapped bread.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
