Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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