My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
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