Small penises have feelings too.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
