new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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