I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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