How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
