But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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