So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize