I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize