I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This is my life. Enjoy the view
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
