My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
