You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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