Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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