belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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