dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I need a beard to bite.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
