I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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