Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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