Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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