He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
