Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
