My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
