i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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