Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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