...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
