My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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