can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
