I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
