My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
