i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
