Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
