Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
