My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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