it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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