I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
