similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
