I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
