then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
