I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
