I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I need to calm my uterus...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
