I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
