u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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