I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize