walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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