I heard we made out
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
