someone get that fucking seahorse.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
