I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize