idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
