When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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