Got a toothbrush?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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