Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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