Barsexuality is the new black.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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